The Journey Through Grief, Continued

I found this in the "Journey Through Grief" publication put out by Hospice of North Idaho. Yesterday  I met with a grief counselor at Hospice of North Idaho. This passage was the heart of our discussion. I have the desire to do the suggestions from Ammons, but sometimes it is hard. The last part is the most difficult for me. It is easy to cry and feel empty. I talked to a person today that has also lost a spouse. What he said to me made it clearer. Is that what Everett would want you to do? Cry and feel empty? No,  he wouldn't. He would want me to smile, open my heart, love, and go on. One step at a time.

Each step in the journey of grief can contain wisdom to help me move forward. Today, I will take that.

 

50 Days of Summer

We still have fifty more days of summer in 2021. When I was teaching summer ended when school started. A silver lining of retirement is that I can enjoy those twenty-two days of September still considered summer. So before I get out the autumn decor and enjoy a pumpkin spice latte I want to continue to embrace summer.

Because of high temperatures, dry winds, and smoky air I have been limited lately to embrace favorite summer activities. I made a list of things I still want to do before autumn brings summer to an end:

Eat a soft serve twirl ice cream cone. 

Have a s'more.

Organize a picnic potluck.

Swim in a river.

Bake a fresh peach pie.

Go to Manito Park.

Watch a summer sunrise.

Reread a favorite summer book. My choice would be "Summer Sisters" by Judy Blume

Watch a favorite summer movie. My choice would be "Mamma Mia."

Pick flowers from the garden, make bouquets, and deliver them to friends.

Make a dessert with zucchini. (this is a beautiful chocolate zucchini cake made by my sister)

Make a pitcher of Bloody Marys and invite people over to enjoy them.

What activity do you still want to do before the end of the summer of 2021?

Six Things You May Not Know About Riley

 

Riley is my Soft-Coated Wheaten Terrier. He is four years old. If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram you have experienced Life With Riley posts frequently. These are things you may not know about Riley:

He feels safe in his crate. He heads to bed every night at seven o'clock. This started when Everett was with us and went to bed early. He has continued the tradition.

Riley loves to go to the groomer. When he used to go NW, he couldn't contain his excitement. He now goes to a new groomer and has earned a gold star after both of his visits. RF loves Riley

Riley has the same morning ritual every day. He sits on the stool by the living room window and watches for the mail lady. He sees her first across the street at the church, then waits to see her appear all around our street before she comes here. Next he watches for his UPS buddy. The UPS guy goes to the gate every time and gives Riley a treat. With my frequent purchased online he comes by often.

Riley loves to ride in the car every day to a place that he can run free. He loves the area around the high school and the area around the old drive- in theater in Smelterville.

Riley is very photogenic.

Riley doesn't really like to play fetch or swim. He does like his stuffed toys Wheat, Rye, and Oat.

Swiss Steak in August

Today was a scorcher. With the smoke from wildfires, the dry wind, and the temperature over 100 degrees, it was hot. As we end the month of July, it makes me wonder what is up ahead. My cousin and I were swapping comments on Facebook about the heat, and remembering how our family members cooked, baked, and did canning no matter the summer temperature.  Here is a memoir piece from my archives I was reminded of today. Enjoy:

 August humidity hung in the early evening air. The thermometer on the side of Auntie Lila’s house registered ninety. One side of the yard provided some relief. It was shaded by an old striped awning.

“Don’t go into the kitchen unless you want to sweat like a pig,” my cousin John announced to anybody that might have been listening. Uncle Ted didn’t seem to hear him. He was preparing for his nightly ritual of checking for water leaks under the house. “Flashlights aren’t working”, he muttered to my dad. Dad handed him newer Eveready batteries. Uncle Bob appeared with two beers and pulled a can opener from his belt. He opened the cool, sweaty cans and handed my dad one can as he settled into the lawn chair in the shade to enjoy his own.

“ It is August and it is hot, but we always visit Orofino this time of year,” Dad laughed as he took a long swig of beer and wiped sweat from his forehead. August and hot often ended up in the same sentence when Dad retold stories about his visits to Orofino.

My brother was preoccupied with a new collection of bumblebees in an old Tang jar. I stopped my search for new and strange beetles. What was going on in the kitchen?

I couldn’t wait any longer. My curiosity got the best of me. I had to check out the cooking in the kitchen. One of Auntie Lila’s famous dinner specials was Swiss Steak. My dad always said two events defined being in “Goofyville”-his name for Orofino- in August. One was wasting the best cut of steak from the Glenwood Market on Swiss Steak. The other was choosing the hottest day in August to prepare that Swiss Steak. Auntie Lila had accomplished both.

Auntie Lila, Mom, and Aunt Ronnie were standing in the kitchen with sweat pouring off their faces. Mom’s glasses were steamed up as she worked near the stove. Aunt Ronnie’s bangs were damp against her forehead. Auntie Lila‘s sleeveless blouse stuck to her back. They seemed unaware that the kitchen was an inferno.

One was frying steak, another was chopping green peppers, and the third in the assembly line was shucking corn. The mixer was sitting on the counter with the Pyrex bowl full of cake batter. In a loud conversation that kept interrupting itself the three were debated favorite variations of the Swiss Steak recipe. Was it better to use round steak or sirloin? Was it home canned tomatoes or store bought? These questions hung in the heavy air of conversation.

After observing this kitchen ritual I had to ask, “Aren’t you hot?”

Laughter filled the kitchen. “Oh Dear, this is nothing. Wait till we put the applesauce cake in the oven and cook the brown sugar frosting,” Auntie Lila yelled over the sound of the outdated electric fan.
“You’re baking a cake?” I heard my Uncle Bob yell from his lawn chair. Is there anything else that could heat up the kitchen more?”

“Watch it Bob..... or we will make you eat in here,” Aunt Ronnie threatened in a teasing tone. He shook his head laughing as he sipped his can of beer. “The picnic table out here under the awning looks just fine. ”

As my Aunt Ronnie turned on the oven, she took a long drag off her cigarette. My mom filled the pot with water for corn on the cob. I escaped to the cool shade under the awning.

“ Is dinner ready yet?” my dad asked as he drank the last of his Schmidt. “I’d sure like to eat before they deliver the morning paper.”

swiss steak in August

Six Ways to Feel Instantly Happy

The week has been marred by wildfire smoke, hot temperatures, and dry air. 

It is time to find instant happiness. Here are my tips for instant happiness on this last Friday in July:

1. Cuddle with your dog. My dog Riley can bring me happiness just by looking at me. He is so lovable and brings me joy every single day. If you don't have a dog, go visit a friend that has one!

2. Pick a bouquet of flowers. I am instantly happy when I have a bouquet sitting on the table. If you can't pick a bouquet, check out the flowers in the grocery store.

3. Find a good book, good coffee, and a comfortable spot and read. 

4. Walk through a flower garden. I am blessed to have my own flower garden to walk through every day. Visit a friend with a flower garden or find a park with flowers. Instant happiness!

5. Talk to a friend. 

6. Bring people together for a meal. Enjoying food, drink, and good conversation is certainly a recipe for instant happiness.

What makes you instantly happy?

The Journey of Grief

 

If you have followed this blog for awhile you know I have a deep passion for poetry. I remember the sadness I felt when I learned Mary Oliver had died. It was hard to imagine I would never read a new poem she had composed.

When I read her poems I can relate to her experiences, subjects, and beautiful images. Often her poems read more like a conversation. I picture myself sitting on a bench with her listening to her well-chosen words.

The poem above is one of my favorites of hers. Because of events and changes in our lives, we sometimes begin a new journey. Like the line in the poem says, 

"determined to do the only thing you could do- determined to save the only life you could save. "

I am going to work on saving my life. I am ready to embark on the journey of understanding my grief. My husband has now been gone for eight months and I miss him every day. Thanks to Hospice of North Idaho I have found someone to help me mend my life.