Swan Song

After the first year teaching at my current school, we lost a student to a tragic accident. It was the first student I had lost, and the first funeral I had attended in this town. After her death I wanted to honor her with this poem.When I see tundra swans on Lake Roosevelt I always think of her.

Swan Song
in memory of S.A. Swan
A Sacred Place On Lake Roosevelt
(1983-1995)

Don’t apologize for the day you allowed your sister to

mark in that brand new book,
Remember, I wanted you to take it home

and practice reading it to her.

Don’t apologize for the day your mother arrived

to visit your teachers at school.
You were good to steady her when

she stumbled and slurred her words.

Don’t apologize for the day you forgot the words

from a story you composed in class.
Remember, we wrote them, whispered them,

wrestled with them to help you feel the sound.

Don’t apologize for the day after recess when

I had to send someone for you.
Because your other teacher kept you in your seat,

redoing that ditto ‘till you got it right.

Don’t apologize for the day you never appeared,

missing Indian tacos for lunch.

Remember, it was the day your mother returned

to the rez after rehab once again.

Don’t apologize for the day at summer school when

the children heard of your death
We tried to read, we tried to write,

but ended up seeing you.

Don’t apologize for leaving before I could say

how much I loved your spirit.
Remember, S.A., you were a fragile duckling,

beginning to become a swan.