Memoir: To Live Life Twice

" To write one's life is to live it twice". Patricia Hampl

First I began writing memoir. It helped me make sense of the events of my life. Then I began to read memoir. It helped validate in my mind that other authors had to make sense of the events in their lives. Below is a list of memoir books that did just that.
First on the list is The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. I read her book in a week-end. I kept stopping to remind myself that she survived to reveal this sad, funny, moving memoir. It is her story of a childhood that included adventure, colorful characters, a father that wanted to design a “glass castle”, and living conditions that break your heart. In an honest voice she reminds us that teachers are important and writing can help you make sense of your life as you live it.
Next from my list is Name All the Animals by Alison Smith. Smith’s coming of age memoir captures her adolescent years and how grief can affect all aspects of life. The death of her only brother and the events that follow cause her to question her Catholic faith, her relationship with her parents, and her own demons. Grief can take on many faces and Smith tells her story with honesty and courage.
Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krouse Rosenthal is the third on my list. In the forward she states “ I was not abused, abandoned, or locked up as a child.” In a fresh way she writes of an ordinary life. The book begins with a timeline, then is organized in alphabetical order as an encyclopedia would be. Under C you can read about Capricious and under P Parking Ticket. She has taken random thoughts, insights, and truth and arranged them to make sense. It made me laugh as I also recalled memories of childhood foods, cream rinse, and 1975. You want to call Amy,meet her for coffee, and reminisce.. Also, I love memoir that makes you laugh.
A few more on my list… Liars’ Club by Mary Karr ,The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion, In The Wilderness by Kim Barnes, Julie and Julia by Julie Powell, Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp, and Truth and Beauty by Ann Patchett.

Swan Song

After the first year teaching at my current school, we lost a student to a tragic accident. It was the first student I had lost, and the first funeral I had attended in this town. After her death I wanted to honor her with this poem.When I see tundra swans on Lake Roosevelt I always think of her.

Swan Song
in memory of S.A. Swan
A Sacred Place On Lake Roosevelt
(1983-1995)

Don’t apologize for the day you allowed your sister to

mark in that brand new book,
Remember, I wanted you to take it home

and practice reading it to her.

Don’t apologize for the day your mother arrived

to visit your teachers at school.
You were good to steady her when

she stumbled and slurred her words.

Don’t apologize for the day you forgot the words

from a story you composed in class.
Remember, we wrote them, whispered them,

wrestled with them to help you feel the sound.

Don’t apologize for the day after recess when

I had to send someone for you.
Because your other teacher kept you in your seat,

redoing that ditto ‘till you got it right.

Don’t apologize for the day you never appeared,

missing Indian tacos for lunch.

Remember, it was the day your mother returned

to the rez after rehab once again.

Don’t apologize for the day at summer school when

the children heard of your death
We tried to read, we tried to write,

but ended up seeing you.

Don’t apologize for leaving before I could say

how much I loved your spirit.
Remember, S.A., you were a fragile duckling,

beginning to become a swan.

Flavors That Blend: Chocolate and Orange

Chocolate Orange Muffins

A co-worker brought these muffins to a breakfast gathering a few years ago. Ever since that time I have loved the flavors of chocolate and orange together. There is something about the rich, bittersweet chips with the added zest and freshness of orange that makes a perfect combination. Sitting on the deck on an early spring morning we can enjoy the view ( see right), sip cups of fresh brewed coffee and savor Chocolate Orange Muffins.

Chocolate Orange Muffins
makes 12 muffins
2 medium oranges, well scrubbed and wiped dry
3 oz. bittersweet chocolate chips ( or good-quality bittersweet bar)
1 cup sugar
1 stick butter, at room temperature
2 eggs
1/2 cup plain yogurt or buttermilk
1/2 cup freshly squeezed orange juice
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups flour
Heat oven to 375. Grease muffin tins or use foil baking cups.
Finely grate orange peel. Chop chocolate if not using chips. Beat sugar and butter in bowl until fluffy. Beat in eggs one at a time. Add orange peel. Add yogurt, orange juice, baking powder and baking soda. Mix well. Sprinkle flour then chocolate over batter. Fold gently just enough to blend flour.Put batter in muffin cups. Bake 15-25 minutes or until golden brown and springy to the touch. Turn out onto a rack.

You Can Never Have Too Many Primroses

Primroses (actual name Primula) are perennial plants that can be placed outside early in the spring to provide those first splashes of color in the garden. As long as primroses are protected and in some shade they can be put outside within the next few weeks. Various containers work well with these hardy plants. Making them mobile allows the gardener to move the containers closer to the house or in a protected place if it gets colder. These inexpensive plants are available now in the garden centers andwill flourish with lots of water and rich soil. I buy a bunch of plants for containers each spring, careful to chose a variety of colors and textures. When the weather warms I find a place to transplant them. The following spring I will have primroses returning in flower beds. Good companion plants are pansies, tulips, and daffodils. As JEJ and I take our first visit to the garden center each spring I always remind him," You can never have too many primroses!" He walks off to find another shopping cart as I study the colors and textures of the plants.

The Keys of Memory

" I wear the key of memory, and can open every door in the house of my life." Amelia Barr

I like things in threes: three pots of geraniums arranged by the porch, three pictures resting on the shelf, three flowers blooming in a vase.

Memoir often draws me to this number of objects. Opening a door of life allows me to revisit objects and attach words to the memories. When listening to first paragraphs of To Kill a Mockingbird I still get chills down my spine. A teacher recited that opening in English class when I was in high school. Hearing it now I can still visulize Scout on that street with Jem and Dill and remember the strong pull of this book and its' lessons. Noting just the cover of this dated VHS movie The Way We Were stirs up sad feelings from failed romance and regret during a time in my youth. The soundtrack of A River Runs Through It draws me to rivers. The music creates vivid images of The Coeur d' Alene, the Clearwater, and the Columbia which are symbols of significant chapters in my life. These rivers also create peace and a strong sense of place in the Inland Empire.

These three keys in my house of life remind me of how strong emotions can attach themselves to simple objects. This enables me to reflect on the overlapping connections in my life and to continue to understand their meaning.

A Space for Inspiration

Writers desire a space for inspiration- that place the writer can imagine, remember, ponder, and draft. For some writers it is surrounding themselves with items of remembrance. I am drawn to a bentwood chair in front of an outdoor fireplace. Often writers find a room with a view or a window facing the morning sun. An old typewriter, an antique pen or a special pad of paper provide writing tools that inspire others. Music can also set the atmosphere. For me, this space above provides inspiration as I recount slices of everyday life and examine the common threads that connect time and place.

“Memory is an aspect of imagination. For writing, memory is one of your most important tools. But you don’t need an excellent memory to use it well. A single phrase, an image, a fragment of a story, one object from the past is enough to spark the creative, intuitive mind. Especially rich are incidents and images stored away that you aren’t sure ever actually occurred; dreams or stories someone has spoken of so many times that they’re engraved as past realities. No matter what their source may be, memories are doorways to new pieces of writing. Memory is like muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. One memory sparks another. Each time you write from memory, another fragment filed in that ninety percent of the human brain that science doesn’t understand slips into consciousness and a creative shift takes place.”

Bonni Goldberg from Room to Write