Sibling Assignment #120: The Ties That Bind a Marriage

Isn't it only fitting that our sibling assignment on Valentine's Day would be related to marriage. Silver Valley Girl gave the assignment this week. "Write about the ties that bind you to your husband or wife. 


As I continue to enjoy a very pleasurable Valentine's Day, it was very easy to write this post. Today I was awakened to a warm fire, Reece's Peanut Butter hearts, a beautiful new watch that has a face and day/ date part I can see, and a touching valentine that brought tears to my eyes. After an inspiring church service and an afternoon nap, the two of us have settled into a quiet evening with our animals friends. It is my kind of day.

What are the ties that bind our marriage? 
We enjoy each other's company. Whether it is sitting on the deck, driving around the area, traveling to find a good restaurant, or walking the dogs, we enjoy each other's company.

We love to laugh. JEJ is a master clean joke teller. He can remember jokes that he heard once two months ago. I love to watch him tell a joke to a group of people. He finds pleasure in making people laugh. Yesterday when I put the turkey breast in the crock pot and discovered a few hours later I forgot to plug it in ( sibling insert.... vagueland) he just laughed with me when we realized we may not be eating until 8:00. Our dogs and cats entertain us. So do funny pictures and videos online. We are easily entertained and the laughter releases stress.

We don't dwell on the past. We both could have carried lots of  "baggage" into our marriage, but have worked hard on moving forward and not dwelling on what could have been, what could have been done differently, and comparing past relationships.

We forgive. I think our common beliefs with our faith keeps this one strong. I have followed JEJ's lead and worked at  apologizing, forgiving, and moving on. Holding in hurt and anger is not healthy. Fortunately we have not had monumental things that needed forgiveness. I think JEJ has forgiven me for  death of the dear Virginia Creeper from a few years ago. You just can't trust me with pruning shears.

We share similar interests. Gardening, photography, reading, watching the Zags, attending church together, spending time in nature, camping, and keeping up with current events are things we both are interested in. We also enjoy a delicious home cooked meal, a nice glass of red wine, a beautiful sunrise from the deck, and solitude.  It is enjoyable to spend time with family and friends, but we also love time spent with just each other.

I always admire couples that have been together for thirty or forty years and have a rich, happy marriage. We met each other later in life. We knew ourselves, but had to learn each other. After traveling a bumpy road for awhile I was glad the gravel road got smoother when I got acquainted with the guy across the road that stopped one day to fix my gate and bring me rose plants.

Happy Valentine's Day JEJ!

Tied to Spring 2

Today there was once again the feel of spring around our place. It was hard to get a good photo for proof, but I saw a daffodil pushing through the ground and debris today. The snow has melted on the mountain across the lake.

JEJ  also remove our "yurt cover"  on the gazebo and built a fire in the fireplace. The garden lights were another welcome sign of spring. It is also staying light longer. Now that is a treat.

The ponds are beginning to melt. Shelby was in for a surprise when she tried to walk across the ice. I wish I could have gotten a picture.

The ice began to crack and she stayed on the largest piece and jumped to the bank. I tried to get her to go out again for a photo opportunity, but she is too smart for that.  We didn't even need a fire in inside today after the house warmed up in the morning. It's coming... I believe!

Tied to a Date in March

I knew working toward my National Board Certification this year would be a challenge, but as the date nears for my portfolio to be mailed, I am writing, revising, revideotaping, and gathering student samples like crazy and redefining challenge. If you are just stopping in and wondered why I haven't been commenting on your blog or creating a farm on Facebook, I have been completing a portfolio to reach National Board Certification in teaching. My portfolio is a box of materials I am putting together to demonstrate my teaching. I have done two video tapes, started a blog with my students (more about that later), analyzed student work, analyzed my own work, and done a ton of reading. The whole process continues to make me a stronger teacher. Today I was a weary teacher, but still a bit stronger.

The box has to be mailed by March 31st (which is during my spring break). Tonight I made reservations for a stay in a mountain cabin so JEJ, the dogs, and I can get away for four days after I deliver my box to the post office. We will be surrounded by mountains and pines in a remote location at the north part of the Methow Valley. JEJ lived in this valley as a child and wants to go back and visit places he remembers. I printed a picture of the cabin and that is my motivation to keep staying the course for the next six weeks. After the portfolio is mailed I prepare for an exam. Fortunately the exam is scheduled at the end of May. I can take a little break.  I am starting to see a faint light at the end of the tunnel.

Tied to Odes

Valentine season seems like a perfect time to reread odes, especially those by Pablo Neruda.

Ode to Things
I have a crazy,
crazy love of things.
I like pliers,
and scissors.
I love
cups,
rings,
and bowls -
not to speak, or course,
of hats.
I love
all things,
not just
the grandest,
also
the
infinite-
ly
small -
thimbles,
spurs,
plates,
and flower vases.
Oh yes,
the planet
is sublime!
It's full of pipes
weaving
hand-held
through tobacco smoke,
and keys
and salt shakers -
everything,
I mean,
that is made
by the hand of man, every little thing:
shapely shoes,
and fabric,
and each new
bloodless birth
of gold,
eyeglasses
carpenter's nails,
brushes,
clocks, compasses,
coins, and the so-soft
softness of chairs.
Mankind has
built
oh so many
perfect
things!
Built them of wool
and of wood,
of glass and
of rope:
remarkable
tables,
ships, and stairways.
I love
all
things,
not because they are
passionate
or sweet-smelling
but because,
I don't know,
because
this ocean is yours,
and mine;
these buttons
and wheels
and little
forgotten
treasures,
fans upon
whose feathers
love has scattered
its blossoms
glasses, knives and
scissors -
all bear
the trace
of someone's fingers
on their handle or surface,
the trace of a distant hand
lost
in the depths of forgetfulness.
I pause in houses,
streets and
elevators
touching things,
identifying objects
that I secretly covet;
this one because it rings,
that one because
it's as soft
as the softness of a woman's hip,
that one there for its deep-sea color,
and that one for its velvet feel.
O irrevocable
river
of things:
no one can say
that I loved
only
fish,
or the plants of the jungle and the field,
that I loved
only
those things that leap and climb, desire, and survive.
It's not true:
many things conspired
to tell me the whole story.
Not only did they touch me,
or my hand touched them:
they were
so close
that they were a part
of my being,
they were so alive with me
that they lived half my life
and will die half my death.

-Pablo Neruda
from Odes to Common Things

Tied to Spring

I am ready for spring.

This got me in the mood on Sunday.

The sunshine helped also.

I am ready to go out and pick these in the garden, not buy them!

... but I will miss the foggy sunrises that create scenes like this over Lake Roosevelt.

Tied to Strings: Family Reunion

the Coomer cousins and SVG at Grandma West's house

Some years ago I did a workshop for teachers centered around memoir writing with students. In preparing for this workshop I scoured  a wide variety of text samples that I could use as memoir examples with students. One book I stumbled upon is now one of my top five favorite poetry collections when teaching students. It is called Strings: A Gathering of Family Poems, selected by Paul B. Janeczko. Many poems I have posted on this blog have come from this book. The book is divided into strings of family groups that tie the book together. Some examples are sections about parents, children, nieces and nephews, and cousins. I am preparing to teach poetry to my sixth grade class and this was the first anthology I revisited today. It is hard to select just one poem to share, but tonight the poem "Family Reunion" was worth a read. As we plan a family reunion for July this poem spoke to me at many levels.

 my Uncle Bob, Auntie Lila, Grandma West, and my mom in 1955

Family Reunion

Sunlight glints off the chrome of many cars.
Cousins chatter like a flock of guineas.

In the shade of oaks and maples
six tables stand
filled with good things to eat.
Only the jars of iced tea sweat.

Here the living and dead mingle
like sun and shadow under old trees.

For the dead have come too,
those dark stern departed who pose
all year in oval picture frames.

They are looking out of the eyes of children,
young sprouts
whose laughter blooms
fresh as the new flowers in the graveyard.
- Jim Wayne Miller